My heart allows no sleep in my eyes. I do not know how to basically react after our last conversation. You were so cold. You left me out in the your life like a parentless child. The hurt creates a numbness in me that I found myself overwhelmed with pain, yet caused not my eyes to shed tears, but moved my pen to write again.
Looking back at our past, I could not believe we have come this far. . . and have reached the end of our togetherness. It seems as though I spent two years with you, instead of just two months. Up to now, I'm still searching for the answer. . . for the reason that caused our separation. And I found nothing but the mere fact that I have loved you. . . unselfishly. But that love never grew to you. I thought that my love for you was enough for the two of us. . . I guess I was wrong. . . utterly wrong. And I am now left with a shattered heart. Maybe, we were not really meant for each other. And maybe, I was not meant to love you, and maybe yet, you were not meant to love me. For whatever reason there may be, I know that no amount of effort in my part would bring you back to me. And no amount of tears would make you love me the way I do.
I am left with nothing to hold but the comfort of my pen and paper, and the assurance that I could capture my entire emotions this very hour into words. And there is nothing more to do but, let you go. . . free you from my love. . . live and let live. . . I guess, this is goodbye for good. And as I say goodbye, a part of me has died. . . and that is. . . the death of my love.
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Author's Notes:
This was written on May 16, 1996 at 1:16 - 1:55 AM right after my brake up with my boyfriend back then.
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